Freaking Out!!!!

So I’m writing this post basically to say that I am FREAKING OUT!!!!!!

Seriously, I can’t believe that I leave for Haiti next week for a short-term spring break trip leading a great group of students!

I can’t believe that I’ll be back on Haitian soil next Friday!

I can’t believe that I’ll be able to see my “Haitian family” next week – the people of the Mole, some of our bible study girls, our friends from VBS, the kiddos at the orphanage, the Castillos, Miss. Beth, and all the mission staff!

I am BEYOND excited!!!!!!!!!!!!
(thus the “freaking out”)

However, there’s also a little whisper of anxiety, of nervousness…

I don’t know about leadership or how to effectively lead a team of high school students.

I don’t know what our experiences will be like once we land in the country, what surprises or changes to our plans will await us each day.

I don’t know if all my friends will remember me, if I’ll be able to connect with them in the same way.

But I know the One who holds all these things in His hands – all my excitement and all my doubts.

The One who has plans that are far greater and immeasurably more CRAZY, AMAZING than I could ever plan or schedule or hope to lead.

The One who has a heart full of “Never Stopping, Never Giving up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love” for this country and for His children all over the globe. And He desires salvation for those who still live in darkness and brokenness.

The One who loves these people far more and far better than I ever could and who deserves all the glory for developing such sweet and wonderful friendships that cut across cultures and borders.

He’s the One who holds me together. In the midst of chaos and craziness. In between moments of peace and those of fear. In the middle of hectic planning and packing. And in it all, another voice whispers still:

My God is there… with me… always.

I’m praying that I do truly believe He has a great and awesome plan in store for this team in Haiti and that I fix my eyes on Him, trusting He will lead and guide us all.

I’m praying that I will continue to lean into Him, that I will trust Him and His plans. Not only for my life but for the lives of those around me also.

I’m praying that He will fill me with His love for these people, that He will work through my life to show a glimpse of His great love for us all. I’m praying that my heart would continue to break for what breaks His and that it will never become calloused.

I’m praying fervently, passionately, desperately, furiously, excitedly, frantically, eagerly, restlessly.

And I’m asking, will you join me?

Would you be a part of this crazy, amazing journey God is taking me on and pray in the same way over this team and over this trip and over this country?

Please, would you join me playing our small roles in God’s bigger plan?

Photo credit: Emily Spring